A Lack of Faith.

There are days when God does not favor me. I derive my strength from Him and he shines energy through me with his favor. One day past, I doubted Him, and He smote me with a weakening illness.

I'd passed through a village rife with corruption. At the inn I'd stopped at, I noticed a young woman and her young child. The child was energetic with a sweet smile. I wondered at my noticing of the two young ladies--wondered what God had in store for me.

Then, the child wandered off and I saw her--from the vantage of my remote corner of the common--stealing a piece of bread from a nobleman's plate while he was not looking. God's wrath rippled through me, and I knew what I had to do.

Yet, I doubted. I doubted my natural inclination for justice. Was this not stealing? Was this not a violation of the law God decreed for us? Why, then, doubt? The innocent smiling face saw that I'd seen her transgression. She did not know it was wrong. She only knew of her hunger.

I withdrew from my pouch a small silver coin. I beckoned the small girl with my eyes and pressed the coin into her tiny hand. With my eyes, I conveyed the thin edge upon which she walked: I, her justice, I her compassion. Her life hung in balance as our skin touched.

Then, she was gone, and so was I. I walked out into the night with my horse, not to return to that town, though much work was promised me there.

My forgiveness was not lost on God. Who was I to judge? Who was I to choose punishment or not? I am merely the vessel of His righteousness. And, I suffer from His punishment even still. But, He will not slay me. I lost faith for one moment--did not listen to the inner voice that is my God. Although I suffer for it, I know there is another day ahead. My work is not done.